Wednesday, August 6, 2008

School's Almost in Session

So I'm about to embark about probably the most crucial phase of my life ever. That's a big freaking deal!!! And it's about bloody time too. You have no idea how ready I am to move on with my life not because I'm running from anything like the last few times, but because at this point in time as the economy is faltering, and crime is on the rise and everybody is so focused upon this nation's decline, I can finally see an opportunity for me to be able to raise my own voice and share my talents with the world. Plus it's the perfect time to be focusing upon clean tech and sustainability right now.

Clean tech being:...

Cleantech is a term used to describe knowledge-based products or services that improve operational performance, productivity, or efficiency while reducing costs, inputs, energy consumption, waste, or pollution. Its origin is the increased consumer, regulatory and industry interest in clean forms of energy generation—specifically, perhaps, the rise in awareness of global warming and the impact on the natural environment from the burning of fossil fuels.

(compliments of wikipedia @ )

....and sustainability being:

Sustainability is a characteristic of a process or state that can be maintained at a certain level indefinitely. The term, in its environmental usage, refers to the potential longevity of vital human ecological support systems, such as the planet's climatic system, systems of agriculture, industry, forestry, fisheries, and the systems on which they depend. In recent years, public discourse has led to a use of "sustainability" in reference to how long human ecological systems can be expected to be usefully productive. In the past, complex human societies have died out, sometimes as a result of their own growth-associated impacts on ecological support systems. The implication is that modern industrial society, which continues to grow in scale and complexity, will also collapse.

(found @ )

Anyway, I'm looking forward to putting my time in so that I can make enough money to finally be able to afford to sustain my own way of life. Simplification is nice when you are creative enough to endure it, but I don't need to struggle anymore. I have worked too hard... and am willing to fight it out some more if that means that I will be able to live the life that I know that I should be able to have with my level of personal growth, ambition and creativity and moral fiber I've been working to develop. I'm not saying that I'm all the way there. But I'm far from where I've come from and that is an accomplishment in itself.

I honestly feel that I have done the best that I can do under the circumstances to redeem myself, and that now that I've been able to stand with integrity in the face of adversity and have learned to enjoy those moments of tranquility and peace, I am much more equipped to embark upon this next phase of my life. Oye vay!!! I really am looking forward to a change of environment, and a change of pace. Once I can distance myself for a while from having to be constantly bombarded by "society's ills" and can focus upon my education a little bit more, perhaps I can get the rejuvenation and the "purification" I need to better integrate myself into the rest of society by having sort of established and defined my new role. One can only dig ditches so long before the mind and body begin to wear out.

If I'm ever going to be able to sustain my faith and my joy in the opportunity to make a positive impact in the world, school is a great place to begin [or rather shall I say continue]. The beauty of the world of academia is that if you really take the time out to take advantage of the resources there, it is a really affirmative experience and the distractions [well at least the negative ones, depending on how you choose to manage your time] are minimal. There's little family drama, your neighbors are in a similar mindset, there are plenty of mentors, a communal spirit and so on to keep you on track. I intend to take advantage of every opportunity, or rather the specific ones that will enable me to specifically reach my goals.

People keep giving me the advice, "gon' -n- git that money, honey. You don't have no kids, or no man to hold you back. Don't let anything or any MAN get in your way." Well I intend on continuing the streak of celibacy well into the emergence of my career until I can really find myself in a comfortable place economically to make room for those things in my life [sorry fellas, I hope u will respect that....otherwise ur going to be in for a RUDE awakening]. But I know that being a working mother is hard, particularly when you're someone like me who is overly concerned about children's development. You should have seen how much time I invested with my mom's chocolate lab. [Not to say they are the same ... I'm just pointing out how invested I like to be in the development of "promising dependents"]

I know that I'm going to be active in the community and probably working on independent artistic and engineering projects and designs and that's going to take a lot of time away from being able to devote the same amount of energy as a stay at home parent. Ideally what would happen is that when the time comes that I will be able to afford a really skilled and dedicated caretaker who can supplement that responsibility and attention when I'm not able to be there... and let's be frank, I would never leave that in the hands of some man. That isn't meant to male bash, but I would need someone helpful that could pay attention to the details like women have been socialized to do, and would aid me in raising my children in a safe, joyful, respectful, and holistic manner that most men aren't quite attuned to... a matriarchal village if you will.

You'd be suprised how having that influence around fosters such a sense of independence and gentleness/ but strength that there really should be more of in this world as opposed to some of these awful mixed messages that are being sent out toward youth today.... I'm not sure who set me straight, but I have done and will continue to do a lot of inner growth as well in order to sustain the happiness and fulfillment I have earned. Unfortunately, I feel this compulsion to lament that as long as there is suffering and irresponsibility in this world that I won't feel entitled to truly bask in the beauty that is the universe, but I can definitely sleep more peaceably if I can attest that I have at least contributed my part.

here are the links:


BBC World Service | Home