Thursday, September 11, 2008

Ups N Downs

pic taken from:

So, I had to forgo taking my Abilify for the past couple of days for lack of time and needing to stay awake to get assignments done. Plus there were a couple of moments of just needing a moment to myself. I've had a really hectic schedule. I apologize for not giving you the time that I'd like to. Plus I may be dealing with a little bit of internet addiction as well. I've kind of dealth with that by installing the Timeleft timer system[] on my computer...and it's AWESOME. Here is the audio file that I use on my timer to get myself on track. Click on yo-yo, bang, bang.

I'll show you some links of some of the other the cool things I've found this week, briefly. I have determinants to learn. Evidently the classroom isn't working for that topic. Thank goodness for this:,articleId-38877.html

It may be one of the only cases in which the ethics on using something like this would not be in question.

As far as a brief synopsis of my academic and social life goes here it is:


Math: It's difficult, but I must say, hell hath frozen over. Math anxiety Monica scored her highest recorded math quiz grade ever, a 91%. Thank you Sheila Tobias. And thank you Joe's coffee shop for putting up with my countless hours of reviewing and studying over the summer and for the kick ass music (XMU) that kept me totally motivated to keep going. I miss you're faux Michelangelo replica of the "the creation" on the ceiling in which God comes down and instead of touching Adam's finger he's handing him a cup of Joe. That was brilliant. I also miss the koi pond. I hope they keep that area up. I feel stumped pretty much every day that I leave the math class: intermediate algebra and trig, but even though the math lab hasn't always been the best option for me, there seem to be a few nice people willing to aid me in my endeavors who know it on the higher level which is great for giving me alternative perspectives on how to solve some of these problems. So, yeah. I'll come back to that

Chinese: What can I say but that class is a beast. Every day I go I feel confident that I'll be adequately prepared, but by the time I leave I'm contemplating where to go and have a heart attack. If it isn't the tones, or the pronunciation it's the vocabulary itself that can be confusing because Mandarin is not synonymous with having formulated complete sentences. It explains a lot like why the women at the market use what we think of as broken English, or when I'm talking to someone who doesn't speak my language the lean their head to the side and act as if they're really having a hard time keeping up with the conversation as I try to describe things. Had I known I would have just kept things to two and three word fragments. But it's cool, they're here to learn and people appreciate that kind of sensitivity.
Technically I'm taking Mandarin, but I think they just got the label wrong.

Tech: It would be my favorite class if it were more structured and the jackasses in it took it more seriously. I look at the syllabus and I get excited, ooh power systems and environmental impact of industrial technology. Or yay videography and hooray for environmental intelligence. It's been giving me some great inspiration on the personal front, like reminding me of why I'm in school in the first place. I just wish I could remember to put my head there when I'm working food service....

Afro-Latin Percussion Ensemble
We have our first performance on the 21st. Since the class only meets once a week it's been challenging keeping up, but I'm one of the better beginners in terms of keeping up with rhythms and one of the worst it seems out of getting the tones out of the djembe, although I'd like to think it was just a bad drum. I just let my instructor think that it was improvement. But we had a very good talk after class about finding areas to practice outdoors, while the weather still permits. We got asked to stop last Friday by a campus cop on a segway (we'll come to that later), and since my professor was late for my music lesson it kind of threw me off... we'll come back to that in the next post... But he told me what I could work on and gave me some bass bass tone tone drills to do. So hopefully the school chaplain will let me borrow her djembe over the weekend so that i can practice some of the sacred Ghanian rhythms.

The movement: Veggie Board

Essentially there was some issue over the accessibility of preservative free, fresh veggies in the vegetarian line particularly for vegans, because we were like literally eating beans and rice and salad every day. So I set up a meeting before school started, met with some students and formed an unofficial, [notorious] underground veggie-based organization and used the feedback to sell the most incredible powerpoint i've ever done that was not for a class.... i had one that was close once, but i couldn't get the music coordinated with the presentation because the technology wasn't available yet. [well to people like me]... anyway, so i hooked it up [anyone who is interested in seeing it email me, I may integrate it into a slideshow at a later date.... or...

Ohhh.... Technology.....(yes)

Percussion: I've been looking for drums that are used and under $50. I don't quite understand paying over a hundred bucks that you can get for $16 that's handcrafted in Ghana. I would just need a used one, which I found on amazon for a great price until I can either study abroad or find a vegan handcrafted one somewhere for not too much.

Exercise: I want to get to the gym more. But I also want to pass my ridiculously hard classes. So my efforts have been limited to trudging around campus with the weight of my overstocked sara lee bag.... (tell kathy from the meat department the bag has become my signature). Everytime I want to go to the gym in the morning it is closed, cause evidently I get up too early. I may have to shower at the facility though. I haven't decided yet primarily because I like the idea of breakfast. But really I need the energy in the evenings, particularly when I work. Maybe if I can sucessfully reconfigure my schedule to college student hours rather than corporate hours I should be fine.

Freshman Boys... : Some of them are a little older, some of them are not freshmen, but still if I catch myself looking at one of them inappropriately I feel like all dirty like I'm some kind of pedophile. I was in college when most of these kids were still in elementary school. How eerie is that, that the hot guy that sits in front of me, who looked all goofy during orientation is starting to look hot now that they're doing conditioning and stuff and I'd say it pisses me off but it doesn't. It just make me feel bad about myself, until I can convince myself of something ridiculous like; I'm here to be a mentor to these cats or remember how much more devastating it is to date younger guys if you break up. You can't treat them like sh*t because there is that maturity factor and you can't be responsible for crushing their fragile little egos, particularly if they cheat or they are just wicked immature. Then you being in a relationship turns into you having to baby sit or train some dude how to respond to you. Then when it doesn't work out, you get to see your creation walking around wearing the shirts you picked out for him, holding hands with some chick that you've instantly decided that you can't stand. I'm serious DON'T DO IT. As Riley Freeman said: "Don't do it grandad, Don't feed her," I'm saying don't date those mutha f*ckaz.

If you happen to meet one in Jamaica, leave that sh*t there. You may think you've gotten your groove back, but when their mama or jealous psychotic ex comes looking for your ass you'll think, damn, why didn't I listen to Philosophergurl? I'm telling you. They may look all innocent and bright and shiny when you first see them and you'll think, "yay, finally someone who isn't dead inside, i gotta get in on that action" but this is a mistake. I repeat, this is a HUGE mistake. Realistically, unless you just straight up don't know the age, the best case scenario is that you become platonic lifetime companions. It's like dating your younger brother's friends... Of course they may want to, but you should totally know better. Unfortunately "women years" are like "dog years" to men. Unless you have the patience of mother freakin theresa, you better find a way to let that go. This hasn't quite registered with many men yet, which is why they get that complex where they become consumed by insecurity and they feel the need to control and micromanag
e their relationships. Don't believe me, look at some of the people you work with like that, or work for....

The support system: Back on topic I'm still trying to find a good solid support system. But I'm getting it here and there. I'm beginning to cultivate a little bit of an entourage and they are awesome. Some of these people are so self-actualized it makes me look like I barely take risks.... Me! But then again, I do it and then b*tch about it....

I've got more coming on that later. I've finally found the ONE...

(my Mentor) It's a cute little story behind it. People are already jealous.... I look forward to quoting him for stuff later.... Until then, I will leave you with this insight... Dr. X told me, that what probably has been happening to me is that I'm taking on too much too soon [in reference to my Quantum Mystical breakdown in combination with stress]. He did not agree that I should take on a "more Mainstream religion" as the psychiatrist from Georgia Regional hospital had advised but rather I should continue upon my search for truth but "pace myself". That's going to be my biggest challenge I know. I'm so used to forging ahead at lightening speed out of necessity, that there are times when I lose my focus. On that note I'm going to have to stop here and assure you that I will update these posts with cool visuals such as the ones from the white cap website [Put this on your media player.... you will totally thank me.... ]

Coming soon (I decided I wanted the progression of this stuff to come at a more appropriate time, like tomorrow when I don't have any more assignments to worry about. Such as:

Update on my MAJOR debaucle....

Convo: Chasing the Flame b Samantha Power about deceased activist Sérgio Vieira de Mello and what I took from that...

Late night info & product search:
(at a reduced price)
mini fryer
djembe hand drum
silk head scarves
vegan food
winter apparel
trendy bargain tunics
and so on....

Sweded Videos: (yes, the movement has begun) I was thinking about doing an extended sweded black adaptation of the chronicles of Narnia in the spring and possibly the color purple and if they turn out well we could submit them to film festivals. Of course we'll have to change names, but they can totally get their props so you won't be calling my sh*t a rip-off. For those of you who don't know what "sweded" is either get flash and check out these clips, or go see the movie "Be Kind, Rewind" with Mos Def and Jack Black.

Did anybody see operation tropic thunder.... or whatever that movie was when robert downey jr plays a black man? how was that? Anyway, soooo off topic


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