Uggghhhh.... too tired to move

That's pretty bad when people ask you how your classes are doing and all you can do is make "the face." I was looking for a pic to use to represent that but this is MUCH funnier...

man, i didn't even finish my poem... i started it yesterday and forgot all about it... let's see if I can finish it now

"yeah, I totally used a screen bean..."

A Deep Breath
stopping for a moment
Really taking time to breathe
getting all of it together
just to set my mind at ease

but it's only for a moment
cause there's so much to get done
every choice and actio matters
and their merit counts a ton

from the planning, from the worry
it feels good to take a break
and pretend i'm sipping lattes
or i'm lounging by a lake

as i play death cab for cutie
from my laptop and relax
and i veg out and i mellow
and survive this heart attack

i've been having, just to keep up
trying to keep my head afloat
no time for crying, or realizing
there's no more time for the remote

but as i sit here contemplating
all the work piled on the shelf
i am happy, appreciative
that i made time for myself

stopping for a moment
Really taking time to breath
getting all of it together
just to set my mind at ease

but it's only for a moment
cause there's so much to get done
i am honored still to do it
cause i've earned it; i'll take one [i suppose...]

yeah, that's how my week has been. hectic, but in a good way.... i think i'm going to take a nap.... i'm not quite sure what the objection would be... i don't have anything to f*ckin prove...

"i don't have to f*ckin impress you..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aww, man. evidently I needed some sort of rest. I just woke up [12:48 am]. I was supposed to go to this campus party and had called myself taking a nap, but at some point, when my alarm woke me up I determined that it was not morning and therefore I could lie around for a few minutes and lo and behold.....

that's pretty interesting that i chose to honor my body's needs rather than socialize because i really wanted to do both [that was my attempt to try and engage in both activities], but i'd kind of felt this morning that it was going to be very soon before i eventually crashed. i'm old and not used to this level of activity...

No, but seriously... The need to rejuvenate is really important. I've been needing to do a post about this and even have the beginning parts of posts set up, but we often fail to realize what an impact it has on our ability to function when we just take the time out for ourselves to get some rest, let our minds rest and our bodies heal so that we can build the strength we need to fully maximize our potential and capacity to work.

Ironically, we were talking about maintenance in tech today, and i never even thought to make the correlation until this evening. Preventative maintenance, routine maintenance, diagnostics, calibration and so on or crucial procedures in making sure that any piece of machinery works well. Similarly, diet [preventative], studying [routine], checkups, both mental and physical[diagnostics], and exercise [calibration] and all sorts of rudimentary testing is absolutely necessary to ensure that we will be able to do all or a good portion of what we have set out to do.

Many people wait until there is a problem in one of those areas; particularly once they've been unleashed from home from the first time, before they ever look to attend to these areas, and I am no exception. I'd been making myself go to bed on time, due to medical reasons, but even still, my mind kept me in that mode of having to only get 6 hours of sleep a night. Which could be cool, but my diet isn't calibrated as well as it had been and I cram a lot of activities into a single day. In the past 72 hours my schedule has been like this, and this hasn't included coordinating office hours, downloading software, studying, panicking, library time, meals and so on.... I've had to get up every morning and set aside time, unless I can squeeze it in to coordinate my schedule [electronically... and then transfer to my calendar, since the software won't send reminders to my phone like i tried to program it to] so that I can just fit all of the hours into the day. Here is what the past few days have looked like:

Wednesday
9:30am math 115
1pm chinese 101
3pm tech 110
5:30pm private percussion lessons

• 8:30pm afro latin percussio ensemble
• 
  

• Thursday
• 8am pick up add form for afro latin percussio
• 9am breakfast
  10am gstr 110
  12pm turn in private lesson form/ add drop
  1pm middle eastern festival
  2pm counseling services
  4:30pm labor assignment
  8pm study chinese
  8:30pm residence hall meeting
  
  Friday
  
  9:30am mth 115
  1pm ch1 101
  3pm tec 110
  5:15pm grocery shopping
  7pm suite meeting
  10pm the underground

To my surprise, the only thing that didn't get done is the shopping and the underground thing and that was more or less due to scheduling conflicts and the fact that i crashed than anything else. I got everything else done despite the interruptions and did some amazing things to make sure that it got that way. Who else but me would have been like OMG I totally can't remember these chinese phrases.... since the dvd and the flash cards aren't working, let me download a few programs so that i can convert the files to mp3 files and upload them to my player and that way i can just walk around and recite them...? I'm just saying, that takes freakin ingenuity and dedication.

I am also struggling to figure out what to do about the voice recorder for my math class. Hopefull if I get an assignment or two ahead I won't miss anything else, but you never know. I rented one today for $8 and uploaded the lesson on my computer using audacity. I had never used it before, but it really helped me kill two birds with one stone. It's like 2:20 am and I've got a pilates core workout in the morning [well later]. the problem is, i'm not sleepy. i let one of my books to my classmates so i guess i could do one of the other assignments, after i make some tea. i'd rather do my math homework in the open air and sunday will be spent cramming. i tried to do my tech assignment right after class today, so that i wouldn't have to think about it this weekend, but i ended up having to email the professor for further clarification...

Does a turbine count as a turbine engine? Is there some other terminology for reciprocating pumps? The only resources in the library insert them as blurbs when talking about rotary pumps or microturbines [and even the larger ones] but i'm not entirely sure if that's the same thing [because it has fans], or if he actually wants me to write about an engine with pistons. then i read something about compressors, so i got a little mixed up. maybe it's in the book.... this is why it's always good to read ahead. it's not due until monday, but they scheduled me to work a double in food services on sunday [which is bullsh*t cause i had planned on using it as primarily a study day to give me the opportunity to take care of some logistical stuff today].

Anyway, there's this concert they're throwing from some group called "the sickest kids you know" or something. clearly i don't know who they are and am cool about skipping it. i think i'm gonna go check out the local coffee shop and hangout and try to get some work done. word on the street is that they do quite a bit of indie stuff there, so that could be fun to check out... i guess i'll tackle this writing assignment and see if i can find some material on power and mechanical systems for an hour or two. it'll be a few less things to worry about trying to cram into my weekend...

Quotes that could have gone with that picture: Which one would you have preferred?

• “I try to live what I consider a "poetic existence." That means I take responsibility for the air I breathe and the space I take up. I try to be immediate, to be totally present for all my work.”
  Maya Angelou

• “We are alone, with no excuses. That is the idea I shall try to convey when I say that man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself, yet, in other respects is free; because, once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
  Jean-Paul Sartre

• "With great power comes great responsibility"
  Uncle Ben from Spiderman

Hit me back and let me know which one you like best....

Arrggghhh.... ready for a heartattack

So I'm just dropping in between tech and chinese to stop and have a massive coronary or something. seriously, i've already been in classes for 3 days and i want to curl up and have a heart attack. i just have had a lot going on. i spent this morning in my math professor's office hours and the better part of my day renting media devices and downloading software so that i could have audio files to capture what i may not have understood in class as i go over it in my room, or convert the alleged mp3 files from our chinese tutorial into actual mp3 files so that i could spend the day cramming for the next day's lesson by walking around with headphones in mumbling phrases to myself. So if you see me wandering around campus, looking SUPER CONFUSED, STRESSED AND FOCUSED no worries. That's why I have my headphones on. OMFG, I am worn out....

In between I've had meetings with advisors, add forms to drop off, counseling sessions, I've had to defer a few meetings for the weekend and next week, turkish coffee with the camels [which i forced myself to do just so that i could take a half an hour break... Isn't that funny that I've had to force myself to take a break. I've just been going and going. I finally updated my calendar software to calendar hub and that is wonderful for time management [once you get everything set up]. I'm having problems having the reminders sent to my phone... but I think that has more to do with my phone service than the software. My room is a hot mess. It's not that bad. I just need to finish unpacking and clean my desk up a bit. I though it would be cool to stategically position my magazines on my desk, but that's not working out. It just makes things feel cluttered and like I have a lot more to do. So I'll get to that later on tonight.

I still have a lot to do, so I just thought I'd peak in and update those who were wondering how I was doing... Off to tech [the highlight of my day]... Maybe i'll get a post up this weekend.

In retrospect, I think that every really cool thing that I've tackled that I eventually ended up dominating, I started off this way, overwhelmed and ready to cry.... so hopefully this is a sign of things getting much better from here on out instead of vice versa.

A Schizophrenic In My Other Life...

...oh, so you totally have to check this site out if you are curious or into anything regarding schizophrenia or second life. i totally stumbled across this site tonight: you'll find out why it's of interest to me later... http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2004/09/a_lever_to_move.html

http://blog.binnyva.com/2007/11/30-reasons-why-all-programmers-are-schizophrenics/
[seriously dude]

Ohhhh it's way past my bedtime. I just wanted to give a brief update of how
orientation is going. I finally got my laptop customized a bit with a little bit of incredimail, which is a bitch to configure and met with advisors and whatnot. I got a little bit of info about the afro-latin percussion ensembles and got the forms for private lessons [which i found out that i could get for credit]. i found out about the bike coop, where you can either rent a bike or work for 10 hours a week and learn to build your own. i also made an appointment with counseling services over at the hospital for thursday with a lady named Ellen, of whom I hear great things...

I got to see my sister and law this morning, as she and my brother's advisor facilitated an amazing introductory session that literally brought tears to my eyes. i dropped off my class schedule to my labor department so that i could be assigned my hours began making plans to get my stuff organized in a paperless fashion as electronic backups to the notes i constantly scribble down when i came upon this:



the site can be found at: http://iscrybe.com/main/index.php yeah, it's the same long ass video....

oohhhh my life's happiness is contingent upon being allowed to have access to one of these... i thought i was going to cry when i found out that they had restricted access to it. it's like finding the holy grail of organizers and then being told that you can't be let into "the kingdom" because you have fallen short somehow... why couldn't i have known about this sooner. the sucky part is that i make NO MONEY and even though there is a sense of desperation... I NEED THIS ORGANIZER!!! I can't even afford to bribe them into letting me use this program. I wonder what my soul is worth in terms of currency. They can have free banner space or use my bandwith or whatever. I just want a piece of that action....

Oh I do hope they'll let me try the next prototype. I did however, get to finish a couple of preliminary playlists that I'm sure if you remember to shuffle first you will highly enjoy...



The Zen Spot as I like to call it is mostly indie cuts [there are a few pieces of crap songs from Shayne Ward in there from where I got kinda lazy once I realized I could just drag sections on there... feel free to hit me back in the event that you stumble across any certified garbage and we'll get rid of it.



Then There's The Movement, inspired by so many things, but I think that you'll find if there was any aspect of my street cred in question, I have redeemed myself. But as in the zen spot if you feel that there's something on here not worthy of making it to the list... by all means let me know. [i will not be removing elliot yamin just to let you know in advance... i tried to keep things diverse, but i know i missed some artists as well... so feel free to request it.]

anyway, i met some pretty cool cats this week. one in particular, a few minutes after that last post who is a fan of the drums, wants to travel and used to do shrooms so they had sort of an understanding of the significance of what i did in terms of paradigm shifts and expansion of consciousness. i also talked very briefly about starting a movement on campus to try and get a vegetarian kitchen going [coop style] so that we could use our "Berea Bucks" to get a better quality of food because I don't think my bowels can take all of these preservatives and overstarched, unrecognizable things they are trying to feed us. Even the salad and fruit selections are limited. You'd think they'd at least have the decency to provide us with a granola bar so that we can make our own trail mix to subsist of... but then again, dried fruit isn't exactly inexpensive anymore. It could be a cool start up. I may have to discuss it with my advisor and food services or something. but i can guarantee there's interest... hopefully it's already in the works...

we also saw this pretty incredible production called American Voices that took sensitivity training to this whole other level. If you like the Vagina Monologues, you will highly appreciate the producer's direction: find out more about it at their company's site: http://www.willandcompany.com/voices/index.shtml

Gettin My Mind Right...

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j78/BlueStarYoga2/block8ahc3.jpg

Waiting
I'm here
but I'm restless
too early to act
Awaiting
and anxious
I need to unpack
mementos
and memories
carried in my heart
to let go
and release
so that I can start
taking
applying
the most i can learn
so that I
can give more
and have more to earn
I'm ready
I'm tired
but can't speed up time
and so
to get through this
I'll work on this rhyme...

-phi*G

I wrote that this morning, after waking up freakishly early and waiting for all of the orientation stuff to begin. I met with my advisor today and they had some sort of luncheon [with which my vegetarian options consisted of hummus and pimento sandwiches... I now know to eat before I attend anything~ like with holiday functions at home]. Then we attended a dedication. There may have been something about a walk and some goodbyes or something, and I felt myself getting all misty eyed when the school president gave his speech about the parents supporting and encouraging their kids and letting them go. I know exactly why I got restimulated by it. I just was trying at that point to fight back tears as I averted my gaze from the empty lawn chairs beside me. I must've been visibly agitated or something, because one of the ladies that I'd met from academic services came up and gave me a hug... and honestly I needed it too much to be weirded out by it [thank you rc].

Anyway, we attended a dedication ceremony and had lunch with our advisors. Then, I got to forgoe the next part of the schedule, because my living arrangement is different than everybody else's so I just talked to some of the women from the African Student's Union about my career plans and went home and did some laundry. I have to tell you, I have never really used faric softener before, but what a difference it makes. I once heard some comedian joking about how married women mark their territory by using fabric softener and my goodness... I can see why. Who's going to want to leave that!?!

The only reason that I even had it to begin with is because I wanted some sort of memento to remind me of the time that I submitted an idea to procter and gamble's website for them to provide individual packets of laundry detergent so that I could travel with it or not have to haul the massive jug down to the laundry room, particularly as the economy got worse. They sent me a reply that said that they were already providing smaller portions at their laundromats [which, completely defeated the purpose of what I was trying to accomplish...] This happened back in the late winter early spring.

Lo and behold, to my surprise they must've changed their minds because a few weeks ago I was headed out of town and found individual packets over in the trial section of Target of all places. They deviated from my idea a little bit, as I requested it in powder form as an eco-friendly alternative [as it saves gallons of water] and had it in liquid form. But did that stop me from buying it? Certainly not, because I knew that it was only a matter of time before I would need it [which is why I submitted the idea in the first place]. And, I finally had to break down and use it today. Which constitutes a need for me to just buy a case and keep some on hand [J-I-C].

Anyway, I learned a valuable lesson from that experience. Find somebody to fund the patent from here on out instead of letting corporations rip off my ideas or make it myself. I come with ideas for stuff like that all of the time. I'm particularly excited about some ideas I have in store for re-revolutionizing and redefining how we use health and beauty packaging [from both the enviromental aspect as well as the economic]. But that's going to take time to get prototypes together and locate a mechanism to get [or build] the equipment, and I've got plenty of time, so long as I don't just chuck off my ideas on multi-million dollar corporations who get ahead by ripping off other people's ideas. But I put it out there. So I guess it's kind of public domain because I didn't protect it like I should've.

If there's one thing that I've learned is that if you find yourself in a pinch and just really need to get something done, there are plenty of people out there willing to do the work for you if you allow them to take the credit of your ideas. (9/11 vigil @ Michigan State anyone?) I didn't get credit for that until many months later [not that it was about that... which is primarily why I let it fly]. Some poor jerk is about to find out that his idea for the individual take a long roll of toilet paper, which I carry on my keychain was ripped off from Proctor and Gamble. The worst part about it, is it was probably some mid level jerk who intercepted the stuff from the website and is collecting a phat bonus because of it. Oh well. But I digress...

At least I get to kind of do the kinds of things that I want to be doing. I've spent a ridiculous time on inner growth and translating the product of my inner consciousness into outer manifestations. Evidently it's beginning to payoff. I'm getting ready to start college in a few days. I just finiished Phoebe Eng's book and I must say. Warrior Lessons is a remarkable read. I liked her book as much, if not more that Sandra Anne Taylor's. I've been doing a bit of summer reading to try to keep my mind where I like it, open and full of useful information. I still haven't finished Amit Goswami's Quantum Creativity, but that is because I had to go back and re-read some passages.



I still get a little bit fuzzy on certain aspects of the Many Worlds Interpretation of the Uncertainty Principle and how that translates into Correspondence. If something actually exists, how could it presently only be considered a possibility? I get that in relativity it could presently [or in the past] not have existed, but when it comes to present manifestations I don't quite understand why uncertainty is applicable. It would seem that at that point of present confirmation of the existence of something that it would yes, correspond, but in turn emerge as the only manifested possibility [as represented by some newtonian deal], unless we're talking about some sort of subjective methodology of measurement, which then, to me ceases to be science. Add to the equation stuff about Schrodeger's cat and the Wigner principle and all sense of rhyme or reason goes out of the window.

At least I can feel confident that I won't completely accept some new far fetched idea until I have some sort of confirmation that it kind of makes sense. It's nice to have that going for me. Oh, that reminds me...



There was some discussion that came up in relation to the school motto: "God has made of one blood all people's of the earth" in terms of how it related to the school's founding principles of inclusion and diversity. Ironically, I had just finished reading the last chapter of Eng's book in which she relayed her experience speaking in a forum in which she was confronted by someone who challenged her idea of inclusion by asserting that: "loose ideas like diversity have diluted people's efforts to fight discrimination..." There was more that he said in reference to the context that he more or less felt that by assimilating or relying upon other groups to aid in the process of any particular [rather his context was much more specific] ehtnic group's ability to take ownership of it's own community's liberation and community development.

I didn't grow up with this particular perspective, but I have grown to see quite a bit of validity of this perspective as I have gotten older and been immersed in some of the deeper issues within my own community and the internalized oppression that takes place as a result of that. I do kind of feel that there are plenty of issues in particular that I wouldn't want the ruling, privileged class to be included in because they wouldn't understand the historical basis for it or know how to deal with it without infringing upon other people's right to work those kinds of things out for themselves.

Even Gandhi, kind of felt that it was a bit presumptuous for the British government to be trying to play the role of guardian and mediator when they were alien to the problems that existed in that particular country, even though I will admit from time to time, in extreme cases that intervention may be necessary... but there should be some sort of active task force present to seek out those who are most qualified and accountable for determining who should take on the responsibility of controlling the local government. It certainly shouldn't be the foreign party. I could see them protecting whomever the people would want in place or overseeing safe elections, but in terms of tyrannical rule, I don't think so.


On the same hand, I was on the other side of the equation this summer of being the person of privilege coming into an unsafe and veridically "barbaric" environment trying to "fix" things and ultimately only creating problems for myself~ which only caused it to internalize it even more. Here it was I had become Rudyard Kipling's stereotype, and I wasn't even a white man... and while there were things going on that I had to intervene in [against my desire of course]... my better judgement told me that I never should have put myself in that position in the first place. I thought that by "slumming it" that I'd be able get a little bit of character development and make a positive impact upon the environment by being cool and leading by example, but really, I was the only one who came out affected and it's going to take a lot of inner work before I can let go of some of that internalized oppression and be able to experience anything fully without being overly cautious and paranoid that there is some underlying devious thing accompanying it.

I know that it seems that my acculturated perspective could be misperceived by some as militant or uncooperative [and to some who don't understand where I'm coming from, they may even perceive me as being flat out racist] but I assure you that I am not. I was actually reading some of the stuff Goswami was talking about in relation to all being one in terms of consciousness, [which is kind of ironic actually] and I had some questions about that as well. To put it in a metaphor, my understanding of it is this:

A blade of grass is totally different in its manifestation than maybe another blade. It may be similar, come from the same source or be from a different area entirely, but it is not the same blade of grass as the other. By the same token it is all still grass. It has the same composition, or similar makeups and characteristics that allow it to be defined as such. The thing that we must still remember to consider, however, is that even though it is all still grass, as we define it; what it means to be a blade of grass in the prairie is different than what it means to be a blade of grass on a golf course, or in the woods, or by the beach, or in the desert.

The same goes for people. We may come from the same origin, or if you don't believe that, we most certainly are derived from the same primordial soup. We have genes and DNA and a chemical composition that determines that. But because our environments and our experiences are so different, and even in instances where they are similar, there is a vast difference in significance in each and every individual, some noticable and some in ways that are much more subtle. One seemingly insignificant person could simply provide the roots necessary to keep their environment flourishing and intact [as in grass and erosion] or provide nourishment and life to something greater [maybe not a cow, but a mind or a movement] that will in turn be a part of a system of things that are necessary to sustain a greater purpose. And there are all other kinds of grass/people metaphors that I could use [we could simply be used to move things, or process waste, depending upon how that stuff is allowed to be deconstructed].

So our differences matter as well as the ways in which we are similar. The universal truth is that we are both. It is in that variance and in our differences that we are challenged as we try to achieve balance, we are conflicted, and we are challenged creatively toward progression and transcendence. I know this is coming out of multiple schools of thought, and believe me, I'm a lifelong scholar of them all... But I think that coming from all of these perspectives and having experience with these bi-linear schools of thought [assimilative & inclusive versus acculturative viewpoint in which race and class really matter] I think it will be interesting to further understand the point where these dichotomies converge. But if not a liberal arts college, I don't know where else I'd really get a chance to observe it.

It seems though that the faculty here are genuinely committed toward our success and development. You certainly wouldn't get this level of attention anywhere else. I'll definitely be interested in hearing more alternative perspectives of it. Perhaps it could provide me with some further insight. I'm just trying to be as receptive as I can, but it's honestly going to take a little bit of time for me to get immersed in things to the point where I can leave that baggage behind me and just take the lessons from it and move ahead. Unfortunately, that is going to require me to sift through some of the misinformation I'd taken on as well, but it shouldn't been difficult. I can already feel the difference in my consciousness between now and several months ago and how differently I've handled and reacted to challenging situations. I just hope I continue to move in the right direction and don't let myself get caught up transferring my stuff onto other people.

Already I've had to kind of scold myself for trailing off into negativity from time to time. I seriously have to tell myself "don't mess around and sabotage this experience. Get it together!" in order to snap myself out of my distress. I also have to really notice and stop myself from my compulsion to want to do things and fix things for people. They don't have any ibuprofen or can't find the health food store or bike shop and I'm like I'll find out and take them there. But now I have to stop myself at scribbling down the phone number or address. I think it's that corporate service upbringing of never saying no and going the extra mile. It kills me to not do all the work for other people, but if I'm going to survive here, I'm going to have to draw the line somewhere. Otherwise it'll be all about other people and I'll be scrambling to fit myself into the equation. I'll get it figured out though. Now that I know it's a chronic pattern I can begin to really work on it.

I know I put this up on the other site, but I was a big fan of my results from this self-actualization assessment. I retrieved these test results from the following site: http://www.assessmentgenerator.com/cgi-bin/coachingassessments/generate3.cgi

Thank you for completing Self Actualization Assessment
Your Score is 123 out of 150

This score indicates a high likelihood that you are self-actualized. This means that you are someone who has peak experiences which show you the meaning and purpose that you have. You may do this through spiritual or other means. You are very open to exploring how events fit together and the meaning in various situations. You are interested in how you can contribute to the human condition, add value to other people?s lives, and leave a legacy. You are likely to have developed yourself to the person who you want to be, and to explore and enjoy your passion in life.

I've got my science, and my poetry. Pretty soon I'll be able to work on some artwork and I'm getting an education. I'll be learning a skill that will be in demand and will benefit people and the environment. And I'm terribly happy with the person that I've emerged as and how much it is in alignment with who I have aspired to be. What more could I ask for? I almost kind of feel like if I didn't have all of this other stuff to look forward to that my attitude could've easily shifted toward, "well now what?" But as long as there are things to be worked on or improved upon, there will always be something for me to do, something for me to contribute. Now I get to decide what those gifts will be. Yay!

Sorry for the long post... But while I'm thinking about it, I'd like to give a shoutout to two of my favorite people [who don't even know it yet] Mikua Rai and Yetunde. I got to see them perform at Cenci in Atlanta this summer and believe me, had it not been for their influence I would not have gone in the same direction after having endured what I did this summer. They were like my "big brother" and "big sister" but on this transcendental level. I love to watch them perform, but to hear them speak and to watch how their presence and energy just fills up the room will forever be etched upon my mind and there will always be a place for them in my heart. Plus there two of the best contemporary orators I've heard. Big Ups!!! Thanks for holding "the movement" down.

To check out Yetude check out her site:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=133228558

You can find Mikua's site here:
http://www.myspace.com/mikuakrai

-Phi*G is on the Move

So I've been slacking all day trying to enjoy my last moments of freedom before I'm swept away in the whirlwind of orientations and dinners with advisors and class starts. I should be studying for my placement test. I'm about to get right on that. I have a lot of stuff to consider soon. I've got to develop the course guide for my independent study. I'll have studying and note taking and agonizing over math equations to do. Hopefully it won't be as bad as all of that, but one never knows. It really helps that I know what I want to do with my life in order to keep me from minimizing any distractions. I just need to watch for that "rolling ball" tendency that I sometimes get that keeps me bouncing from activity to activity without focus. Like now I should be studying, but I've been blogging all morning. I haven't gotten the reading done that I wanted to and in the morning I'll be moving my things into the dorm. Right now the only people here are the international students, and I've been staying with the "fam" so I haven't' had time or rather made the time to explore or get to know anybody except for the few faculty members who have made the effort to try to get to know me.



Evidently I must've made some sort of impression on my brother and his wife because I was surprised at how many people here were interested in meeting me, even though I am like the polar opposite of who he is in terms of personality. It takes me a minute to warm up to people like that, but there seemed to be a little bit of buzz generated surrounding the type of work I'm looking to do and so now I'm just trying to keep names and programs and what not straight. I'm going to be running across a few of them again and there was even some discussion that came up of me eventually moving into this place called the SENS house where they reconvert fecal water into swim-able quality by filtering the waste through some sort hydroponic botanical system that uses plants to eat the nitrates and bacteria to eat some of the toxins out of it so that it can be reused within the facility. I know that sounds pretty nasty, but it could prove to be beneficial knowledge in what to ecologically consider with how human waste is dealt with along the roadsides of places like Kibera and Alexandria that are poor and have no indoor plumbing and are rife with disease.

http://www.kslum.org/mission.htm

I also talked briefly with an agronomist about soil quality and how it affected the ability to cultivate crops in underdeveloped regions.... yeah, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to fit in fine here. Who knows I may actually leave a "supa star".... Just discipline and focus are the two things I need to keep in mind and I should be fine. Oh did I mention that I learned what LEEDS certification was? Leaders in Energy and Environmental Sustainability? Berea College has actually done some incredibly impressive work with that, in terms of renovations and sustainable design. I know this sounds incredibly dorky, but I feel like a young Padawan learner here. The question here is who is going to emerge as my "yoda" or "Obi-wan" or even Craigon? That's crazy, yo to have a force inside you that everyone sees that you've been unsure how to channel and unleash. I guess it helps to have a path. Now I just need the training.



Oh yeah, per my little brother's recommendation, I'd like to add this youtube trailer. It kind of reminds me of where I'm coming from in life: You know, I started off as a Spartan at Michigan State. Technically I was like a Warrior, a Hurricane and a Wolverine first, but that was the last thing that I claimed. Now we're the "Mountaineers".....

I guess I could work with that. I now battle myself, where other people could never dare to dream. We can not contend with the mountain, but rather conquer our fears and develop our strength and focus by learning how to ascend our trials and strategize how to make it [you know, and live to tell about it. How do I best come about doing that. I think that when I discover that for myself I will have embarked upon the next phase of rebirth in my spiritual evolution... Enjoy!!!

In Berea Safe and Sound

Nothing says normalcy like doing a little bit of yardwork and playing with my little niece and her dog. This is only some of the stuff I have been doing since I made my little trek up to this little corner of the world. My last living situation made my new one look like I'm living with the Cosby's so it's been a lot easier to put that nightmare behind me. I already sense that I'm going to be doing well here. It's a pretty small and rural place, but I think the lifestyle here will give me the opportunity to thrive.

The common theme here is artistry [more so with crafts], service learning through labor, and sustainability, which is right up my ally. I haven't seen much of the famed "diversity" yet, but I did notice the telltale signs of culture and diversity around the campus, so I think I'll find myself pleasantly surprised.

The good news is, I got my room and labor assignment. I will be rooming in a single, attached to a suite with air conditioning and a kitchen and working in food services [although that will probably only last a semester] for the upcoming year. Word on "the street" is that I really lucked out with that, but I think because I was so worried about coming in and being so much older than the other students they probably took that heavily into consideration. I'm also going to be staying in one of the upper classman [all girls] dorms even though its my first year here. I have orientation on Friday, where I will have the rest of my registration taken care of and my aunt will be speaking here for something or other sometime this week, so now i just play the waiting game and really try to settle into my new life. Finally, a moment to breathe....

"It feels a little less like attending university and more like going into a boarding school or uber progressive community..."

-Phi*G