Lessons Learned from Life

I was digging around the old posts and realized how very different I am now from who I was.  I can honestly say that I'm grateful for that.  It isn't that the old person was bad, I just appreciate what my experiences have given me a little better.  

 

'Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.', ~Rumi

I'm a lot more tranquil now, and when I'm not tranquil, I will quietly wrestle with myself internally until I find a way to unburden my mind... without ruffling too many feathers if possible. I think I have learned the value of being kind over being right and I save myself a lot of personal and ethical battles that way.  I can honestly say that I've learned to trust more; although it helps that I have more experience under my belt to learn what to trust and how to approach risk methodically when I am unsure.

'Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray,' ~Rumi

I allow people to own their own problems.  I also have grown more comfortable with the feeling of being emptied; whether that's of bias, preconceived notions, or even of hanging onto attitudes that really just don't serve me, no matter how noble they may seem at the time. 

I've also learned how to recognize the people who value others as much as they value their dreams.  One of the benefits of getting older, although you may find yourself occasionally grieving the loss of someone you hoped to build a relationship, is that you become more adept and valuing those who go out of their way to be more supportive and encouraging.  These are the people who nourish your souls and building those connections can provide you an incredible sense of belonging and a place for you to pour out your affections, when you use your gifts to help build this community.  Surround yourself with people who inspire you, who bring out the best in you and believe in you, even when you are unable to see your own beauty.  It's the best way to un-complicate your life and bring more joy to it simultaneously.

'What you seek, is seeking you,' ~Rumi

If you don't already have these things, live your life presently, and VERY, VERY fully.  You will learn what you value and who values you, so that you can move forward with much more depth and elegant simplicity.

I wasn't a huge fan of this video, I think mainly because I used to relate a lot to this character.  It took a strong will and a lot of behavioral conditioning to make myself more agreeable, but the biggest lesson that I learned from all of this is that no matter how much effort you pour into trying to make others like you, you can never be at peace with others until you learn to make peace with yourself.  Thank goodness the internet has provided me access to many ideas for how to find ways to do that.  

Btw, Does anyone else find it ironic that we've become so reliant upon technology these days to teach us to be more acceptable to other humans?  A friend of mine shared a really great article from the Atlantic regarding the over-reliance of online platforms like Facebook and how they have impacted our ability to feel truly connected to one another. The Good news is that it just so happens that my new friends, make the old people that I felt as if I had to chase suck it.  No seriously, one of the best skills you can ever do for your mental health is this: Learn to recognize the people who value others; esp. the ones who can teach you how to truly value yourself. 

Social media—from Facebook to Twitter—have made us more densely networked than ever. Yet for all this connectivity, new research suggests that we have never been lonelier (or more narcissistic)—and that this loneliness is making us mentally and physically ill. A report on what the epidemic of loneliness is doing to our souls and our society. 

Click here to read more...

See Zen's Greetings & Stress Management Tips

I really appreciated the idea of shifting the attention toward the practice of creating safe space in stressful situations (esp. during the Thanksgiving holiday). I suppose there's no better time to practice this skill than this period leading up to finals. So here are a few helpful tidbits from my FB feed that helped me to hone my super stealthy ninja stress management skills. 

❦~ Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh ~❦
We can learn to build safety with our in-breath and our out-breath, with our steps, with the way we act or react, with a smile or a word, with our effort to restore communication.
You cannot feel safe with the person who lives with you if you cannot communicate with him or her. You cannot feel safe when the other person does not look at you with sympathy, when you are not capable of looking at him or her with compassion. Safety can be built with your way of looking, your way of smiling, with your way of walking. It can build confidence. Show the other person that you are truly not harmful, that he is safe in your presence, in the way you think, the way you breathe, smile, and walk. Everything you do is peaceful. So by expressing your peace, your compassion, the other person feels very safe. And when the other person feels safe, you are safe. Safety is not an individual matter.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~
❧~❦~❧~❦~❧~❦~❧~❦~❧~❦~❧~❦
{{{{~The Mindfulness Bell Has Sounded~}}}}
Please pause and breathe joyfully three times

c/o Soulful Nature

❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈
❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈
 ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈
  ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄
  ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄
  ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄
❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈
❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶     ❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶*❄*✶      ❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈✶❈



Stress Management Tip #1: Value your own sense of self worth and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you. Seriously, when you're not feeling your best, it can be extremely beneficial to keep the company of those who can act as excellent role models for you. 

 You were meant to sparkle. Let your spirit shine!
~ Christine, The Brighter Side of Life

 c/o The Brighter Side of Life

Stress Management Tip #2: Remember those who have supported you even when you didn't feel like your best self. Rather than vent to those people, find a creative way to express to that person, how much you value their support. Pouring you energy into love and appreciation for someone you may have neglected is a great way to spread good karma, boost serotonin levels, and build an effective support group.

 

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."
- Paulo Coelho.

c/o Lessons Learned in Life 

Stress Management Tip #3: before, even when the current option seems unfamiliar or unsettling to you. As long as you're willing to learn from your mistakes and to commit to a path that you believe will provide growth for you, you can always find the guidance you need that will inevitably lead you down the path that's best for you... even when things don't always work out as planned. Have Faith enough to trust the process so that you can be open to receive any good that CAN come to you. Have faith and trust that the answers you need that will eventually come to you. By remaining present and being aware of the abundance of possibilties that exist before you, you can discover or create opportunities you may not have noticed

 

 Stress Management Tip #4: Be Mindful of how you manage your time, as chance tends to favor the prepared mind. ; )

c/o Obligations (1950): Coronet Instructional Videos

 Stress Management Tip #5: Don't forget to mind your manners. Remember: "A bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere until you fix it."

c/o Improve your Personality (1950): Coronet Instructional Videos 

  

Begin each moment well and so serenely that you can't be too dragged down by your old nonsense

 c/o Positivity Toolbox

Stress Management Tip #6: You can create this kind of connection with others, simply by remembering to be thoughtful. : )

c/o Exceptional Living

 Stress Management Tip #7: Listen to Marvin Gaye 

#heavensent : )

 

"If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else." -Marvin Gaye

  c/o Gossip Gone Good

Stress Management Tip #8: pray, meditate, go for a run, sing, or do anything that allows you to bring tranquility to your mind. once you can quiet your mind, you can bring your attention back toward something constructive, creative or anything else that will bring you cheer

 

 Every single thing you experience,
Every bump you encounter, every joy, and
every sorrow ~has been placed upon your
path to aid your consciousness into evolution.
~ Sheila M. Burke/ Zen-Sational Living ~

Stress Management Tip #9: The secret to building a strong faith (albeit, in a higher power, or in yourself) is this: Learn how to ask for what you need and who to ask for help that can help you find what you need... but don't expect them to do everything for you... but if you look in the right places you will inevitably find anything you could ever need ; )

Stress Management Tip #10: Don't Chase people, esp. when you're feeling down. Those who want to be in your life will make an effort to stay, and those who don't may have genuinely given you all that they were capable of giving. So forgive yourself, love others with an open hand and do the best you can with what you have. Appreciate those who can afford to stick around and for heaven's sake; lighten up. There's no better way to empower those around you than to cherish those who take time out of their day to spend time with you by giving them someone positive to be around (or to think about)

Sometimes when the wrong ones leave it hurts, there's just no getting around it. ~the mess

c/o A Beautiful Mess Inside

AND FINALLY:

I leave you with quite frankly, the only life skill you will ever need; the skill for which all other stress management tips are but preparation: Cherish your relationships. The one you have with yourself must be healthy if you plan to extend yourself well to others. And the health of this relationship is really best sustained with how you learn to repair your most important relationships and maintain your relationship to your values and God (or however you define your higher power; the source that brings out the best in you).

 

 c/o Precious Family Forever

Or so I tell myself... My attempts to counteract Math Anxiety

Here are some musings of my relationship with my math homework….

(which I correlated with Sandra Anne Taylor's excerpts about creating more substantial relationships).... It's a little out in left field but it makes perfect sense to me.

I promise there's a method to the madness....

If you put out a certain type of energy you will receive results that are often a reflection of that particular energy. In a relationship as Sandra Anne Taylor says “if you put out a nervous energy than you will attract a fearful mate in return or if you are critical of yourself than you will attract a mate who is critical of you as well. As well as if you put out passive energy, you will either attract a mate with that same passive energy or you will attract someone who will try to dominate you to exert their energy through you”.

The same attitude can be applied to our relationship with our studies. If we are nervous about our assignments, that scattered energy is going to reflect in partial retention. We’ll only remember bits and pieces of the information. If we are critical of your assignments, you’re limiting yourself in that you are not maximizing the full potential of yourself to immerse yourself in the material and receive a variety of favorable results from them and your output in you assignments becomes questionable as well. If you are passive about doing your assignments, either you will be equally as ineffective about learning the material or you will let that anxiety dominate you by playing those fears out through you which will probably adversely affect the way you approach the problems as well as your potential results.

Don’t be a victim when you make a mistake, because it inhibits your ability to learn from them. That means don't be so hard on yourself or blame the professor for why you don't understand the material. Learning math is about learning how we make mistakes as well as learning how we approach these inconveniences and how we go about trying to correct them. Math is about teaching us more effective ways to think and strategizing to correct our thinking when there is something in it that is causing us to make errors. Hmmmm…. My thinking needs to be improved…. Maybe I will do some math problems …. I just need to read this repeatedly whenever I find myself averting my focus from it and remember that it’s more than a job or an assigned task. It could be the very thing that could possibly bridge the gap between here and a MUCH better life. I may like the one I have now, but it could totally exceed my expectations if I take the material a bit more seriously, and respect and enjoy the process instead of being reluctant to participate. Think of it as another form of service learning, only this time it is a service that you are doing is for yourself. Sweet….

Behold... a good relationship with one's self, and what they learn or choose can become the key to enlightenment